Sunday, April 20, 2014

Confessions - Tia

I want to finish the 30 days of Blog but I'm in a funk.

I often read The Bloggess' blog and she struggles with some emotional things and is very candid about it. I can't tell you how many times I've read something that she's written when she's been depressed and painfully honest and it's made me feel better. I say all of that because I genuinely think that I'm in a similar boat. And for some reason, even though I'm feeling like crap today, I feel the need to spill my guts about it. So here's some real time confessions regarding what I'm feeling right now.

- I'm counting the minutes until the sun goes down so that I can go to bed. It feels wrong to go to bed while the sun is still up. But I really don't want to deal with this day anymore.

- A guy that I haven't spoken to in YEARS popped up on social media last week and made me realize that I still feel some kind of way about him and about what happened between us. (He was my prototype: everything I thought I wanted in a guy.) But I'm too scared to try to reach out because I'm afraid he'll be honest and tell me why he stopped being in my life and I think the rejection all over again will be a little too much for me.

- I'm not sure when it happened but I'm genuinely afraid that I've made too many wrong choices and will never get married or have kids.

- I'm unclear on how I'm an introvert but my love language is quality time. Shouldn't I be okay with being alone?

- I hate the fact that I have no one I can call and say, "You want to hop on a plane to (insert destination here) next weekend?" I'm not balling or anything but I have some disposable income and almost 5 weeks of vacation at work. I'm pretty sure I only earn about 3 weeks a year (I'm not totally sure because I've never run out.) But if that number is correct, that means that I took very little time off last year and carried over a lot of vacation days. And traveling alone is pretty lame, so I don't go anywhere because I have no one to go with.

- I think that I legitimately have some level of clinical depression. But I'm hesitant to get help because I don't know where to begin and I don't trust easily. So the idea of PAYING to spill my guts to a complete stranger scares me. (Doing it for free on the internet is easy.) I'm also still trying to shake the "stigma" of mental health issues especially from the aspect of the church and the black community. Neither have ever been very welcoming or understanding when it comes to depression and the like.

- I know it's ridiculous that I'm afraid of what others will think about how my mind works. Especially since I sought professional help in my 20s. I think part of me just feels like a failure for not being able to be consistently "okay" mentally. And I don't want anyone to know that I'm not doing "okay" right now.

- I realize that a lot of what I just said revolves around fear. I don't like that.

- I'm calling a counselor tomorrow to get something scheduled. I know I can't continue like this. I gotta get some help.

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

30 Days of Blog: Day 15 - Tia

Where will you be in 5 years?

I have no idea. I didn't expect to be where I am. And if you'd asked me 5 years ago where I thought I'd be, where I am now would not have been my answer. So I'm not even going to try and speculate. And I'm going to politely skip this topic.

Have a nice day!!

Monday, April 14, 2014

Man Crush Mondays: Karl Yune - Tia

I genuinely don't understand racism. Disliking someone because of the color of their skin is ridiculous on SO MANY LEVELS. Plus, it means you miss out on the hotness that other races have to offer. Beauty is not relegated to a specific race. And thank the Lord for that. Because REALLY KARL YUNE….REALLY?!?!?!?!

Last week I was watching Over The Top Rock Em, Sock Em Robots Real Steel and Karl Yune came on the screen and I stopped paying attention to everyone else. My LAWD his bone structure!!! Did God carve this man out of stone and marble?

I need Hollywood to do better and put Karl in more movies. And don't just make him the Asian sidekick. He is leading man material. Am I just saying that because he's hot. Yes!! No!! It would just be nice if Hollywood would diversify and have more actors of color in movies and television shows. Entertainment should reflect the true diversity of real life.

Anyway…here are some gratuitous pictures of Karl because I can and he's fun to look at.

Oh, did I mention that Karl has an equally hot brother? Yeah, Rick Yune is fine too. I guess it just runs in the family.

Sunday, April 13, 2014

Sunday Funny

I'm grown and I still love Elmo. I'm not ashamed.

Happy Sunday!!

Saturday, April 12, 2014

30 Days of Blog - Days 3 and 12 - Tia

I mean, this isn't a bad quote at all. 
Day 3 - Favourite Quote
In recent years I've found that more people than I realized have a favorite quote or life verse from the Bible that they live by. I find that admirable. I've just never been one of those people who feels that any one set of words is applicable for all time. There are specific truths that I feel are immutable. But I think that certain things apply at certain times and other things at other times.

However, at the moment there are two quotes that I'm very much digging. I saw the first one as an email signature from one of my co-workers:

We are twice armed if we fight with faith. - Plato

To my knowledge Plato professed no particular faith in a higher deity. So I'm assuming this quote was in regard to fighting the struggles of life. But I can't be sure. I may have to take a Philosophy class this summer.

For me though, this quote from Plato is very timely. Recent months have caused me to have to fight for what I believe in, what I know to be true, what I hope will be. A family health scare, a job situation, a personal relationship. I've had to fight just to get through a lot of things and I've clung deeply to the faith that things will work out one way or the other. I've had to believe, in faith, that God has control of things and they will reconcile, maybe not in the way that I want, but things will resolve. So these particular words from Plato have been rather timely in recent days.

Grownups, comedians or not, realize that excellence requires not just early, but constant, unrelenting work and sacrifice and that reaching a peak does not mean you will stay there. - Aisha Tyler

Y'all know I straight up, unabashedly STAN for Aisha Tyler. The other day my brother told me that I'm just a shorter, lighter, less famous version of her. Aside from the fact that he felt the need to bring skin tone into it (so unnecessary, he knows I have dreams of chocolatier skin) it was the best compliment I'd most recently received. People want to be like Beyonce (her life seems overly tiring and lacks a privacy that a geeky introvert like me needs) or Kim K (no comment because I have nothing nice to say). When it comes to celebrities whose lives I would gladly take over, Aisha is at the top of the list.

That chick is a hustler. She's on Whose Line and The Talk. She has a podcast. She's the voice of Lana on Archer. She still does stand up. She writes books. (I'm currently reading Self Inflicted Wounds and you should be too. It's hilarious.)

 She tames unicorns* She's captain of the world's only all black water polo team.*
*These statements are still under review and verification is pending.

With that many irons in the fire you know that she is hustling every day. She's up early. She stays late. She does what it takes to get things done. And her drive is one of the many reason I admire her. It's the kind of hustle I need if I'm ever going to break out of my 9-5 and do something I love. Granted, what I thought I loved and wanted to do has changed but that's okay. The one thing that I love and refuse to let die is this blog. Will it make me famous? Who knows? (Honestly, I don't really want to be famous. Infamous…now that's another story.) But I want to be consistent. I want this blog to flourish. I want something I write to mean something to not only me but to the people who read it. That means I have to keep at it. It means I have to write even when I don't want to. It means that a mundane post about what's in my fridge may be all I write about one day but at least I wrote about something and I was consistent. If I want BGLU to be all that it can be then:

Day 12 - Favourite Childhood Book
Finally an easy topic!! My favorite childhood book is A Pocket For Corduroy. I have fond memories of my mother reading it to me when I was little. And I loved that the little girl in the book looked a bit like me.

As a child growing up in the early 80s, I didn't realize the significance of having a book where the lead character was of color. Race was never a big deal in my house. My parents were kind people who loved everyone regardless of color. But as an adult, I now understand how important it is for children to have relatable characters in literature and media. If you don't believe me, take a look at this and let your heart break.

I have a copy of Corduroy and A Pocket For Corduroy, along with a lot of other books that I loved as a child, in a box in my spare bedroom. I've bought them throughout the years with the hope that I can one day read them to a child of my own. I refuse to get rid of them and if things get desperate enough, I may "borrow" an unattended child from the grocery store and read to them. I kid…I kid…for the most part.

Happy Saturday BGLUers!!

Friday, April 11, 2014

Fun Music Friday: Electric Youth - Tia

I woke up with this song in my head and took it as a sign that it needed to be the Fun Music Friday song of the day. 

Like most girls my age in the late 80s/early 90s, I adored Debbie Gibson. There were Debbie versus Tiffany factions, but I didn't really subscribe to that. I didn't feel like you had to like one or the other. You could be a fan of both of them. They were giving me adolescent soundtrack realness and I appreciated them for that.

But I won't front. Style-wise I leaned more toward Debbie. I had the hat, the cut-off shorts, the black patent-leather tie-up shoes with the ribbon laces. Don't act like you don't remember those.

And like every girl at my school, I had the Electric Youth perfume. 
It was so pink!!
All I remember about that stuff is that it smelled sickeningly sweet. It was the "gotta have it" item for every pre-teen girl. God bless the teachers of my middle school. They were suffocated daily with the smell of Electric Youth, Darkkor Noir and pubescent hormones. And yet they still came to work every day. Treasures in Heaven…I have to believe that for them. 

I still remember every word of "Electric Youth." And though I was never the greatest dancer, I oddly still remember some of the choreography. This is what classic music does. It sticks with you forever. We won't remember the "Nae Nae" in 20 years (or 20 months for that matter.) But call me in a couple of decades and I will gladly sing you all of the words of "Electric Youth." 

30 Days of Blog: Day 11 - Favourite Foods - Tia

Day 11 - Favourite Foods

As you can see, I'm still playing catch up with the 30 days of blogging. Trying to blog every day, while traveling for work and doing the rest of my life stuff is proving challenging. But I'm going to do it. I'm going to finish because I don't like starting things and not finishing them. I guilt trip myself something awful when that happens. 

But it's the freakin' weekend, so no more excuse. Time to get it in and get it done. Moving on… 

Y'all, I LOVE food! I really do. It is delicious. It is wonderful. And I'm not just talking about regular food. I'm talking about well made, hand crafted, melt in your mouth, not processed, made with fresh ingredients, somebody put their foot in this (like the old folks used to say) GOOD FOOD. 

I remember the first time I had hand-made gnocchi in a home-made alfredo sauce. Child, I LIVED.

The problem is I'm also fond of not good for you, artery clogging, colon blowing, "why did I eat" that food. I'm learning that I need to avoid this kind of food most of the time and opt for "real" food. But I will never fully abandon an In-N-Out burger animal style with a side of fries. That's just not going to happen.

That being said, in no particular order (except for the bacon…Bacon is ALWAYS number 1) here's a list of the stuff that I will always have a hard time turning down because they're my favorites.

1. Bacon

In my entire 30+ years, I have only ever met TWO people who said they didn't like bacon. And I am convinced that those people were either aliens or demons, because no human in their right mind DOESN'T like bacon. It's meat candy. It makes EVERYTHING better. When have you EVER had bacon or something with bacon and thought, "I could have done without this bacon." NEVER!! You know why? Because BACON IS EVERYTHING.

A couple of years ago, I became privy to what real, cut by a butcher bacon tastes like. Great day in the morning (as my grand daddy used to say), it was like someone had opened up the cosmos or something. I didn't know bacon could get better. But it can. The stuff they sell in the stores is bacon-lite compared to butcher bacon. If you have a Fresh Market near you, go immediately and get some Nueske's bacon. Or if you love bacon like I do, you can order some here. (You can thank me later.) Yes, we live in a world that allows you to order bacon.

2. Cupcakes
A miniature cake…with frosting. I'm not supposed to like this because why…???

3. Pizza
As I mentioned in my day 2 post last Tuesday, I'm horribly lactose intolerant. I have been since I was a baby. I read somewhere that something like 75% of the population has some form of lactose intolerance and it disproportionately affects Native Americans (some estimates put 80-100% of Native Americans in the L.I. category) and African Americans. My grandmother was half Native American and I'm black, so, yeah, there was a good chance I was gonna be screwed on the dairy thing.

I once had a friend tell me that I'm just more evolved that other people because humans aren't supposed to a.) drink milk after infancy and b.) consume the milk of another animal. Apparently, we're the only species that does that. I gently encouraged him to have several seats with all that noise because cereal is everything.

I don't eat pizza often, but I refuse, REFUSE, to give it up completely. It's everything you need in one convenient object. Meat, cheese, vegetable, grains. It's the entire food pyramid in a handy carrying case. Thank you inventors of pizza. THANK YOU.

4. Cereal
You name it, I probably like it. Rice Krispies, Cascadian Farms Granola (my current favorite), Special K, Frosted Flakes…all of it. With few exceptions, cereal is my go-to. Thank God for lactose free milk.

5. Breakfast/Brunch
I understand that breakfast and brunch are not exactly foods but meals. But I don't care. I will eat breakfast/brunch any time, any place. I'm unconcerned with the time of day or the location. If there is a meal that contains all of the elements of breakfast/brunch, you don't even have to ask. Yes, I want in. Yes, I'll have some. Yes, pass me the bacon.

6. Hummus
Why didn't anyone tell me that ground chickpeas were so delicious? I'm a bit angry that it took me so long to get into hummus. But into I am. I pretty much eat it every week. And Trader Joe's Jalapeño Cilantro hummus is worth the 30 minutes it takes me to get to a TJ's to get some.

7. Mexican Food
Mexican food is a close second behind breakfast/brunch. When I was little, my family lived in Texas and the woman who watched me after school until my mother got home was Mexican. She used to make homemade tortillas and a bunch of other stuff that pretty much ensured that I would be addicted to Mexican food for my entire life. Thank you Mrs. Conchola for your far reaching and long-lasting influence.

8. Somosas
A couple of months ago I had vegetable or chicken somosas 4 days in a row. I'm not even remotely sorry about that. If somosas are available, I will be eating them.

9. Burgers
For health reasons, I don't eat a lot of red meat. But that doesn't mean I don't love it.

I'm not a fan of cheap fast food burgers. (I do not put In-n-Out burger in that category.) It has honestly been years since I've had a McDonald's burger. In my opinion, those just aren't real burgers. When I say I like burgers, I'm talking locally grown, grass fed, hormone free, made to order, cooked to perfection burgers. There are THREE restaurants in a 5 mile radius of my house that make some of the best burgers I've ever had. I try to only hit ONE of them up every 3 months. I feel a burger every quarter is fair. But when I'm there, look out. I want it all. Bring me the big, juicy patty with bacon (of course) and sweet potato fries.

Oh and one time this happened.

Yes, that's a burger with doughnuts for buns. Again, sorry I'm not sorry. It was delicious and decadent and worth it.

10. Bacon
Bacon started the list and bacon ends the list. It's just how I feel about the delicious, God sent food and I make no apologies for it.

Happy Friday Y'all!!

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Stop Trying to Make Me Care! 6 Things I Need for the Media to Stop Talking to Me About- Toya

As much as I hate to admit it, I am a big fan of The Internets (no typo).  My social media activity has only increased since I moved back home.  I appreciate the fact that it helps me stay up in everybody's business keep up with the many people I care about. However, being online a little more than usual has me constantly inundated with things I'd totally be okay never hearing about ever again by the media. Here are the following things I need for the media to stop trying to make me care about once and for all:

1. The Kardashians:  Why? Just....why are we still talking about any of them?  And listen, I don't have a problem with them at all!  How could I be mad at a family that took a lemon of a sex tape (not that I saw it or anything) and turned it into lemonade, lemon meringue pie, lemon fresh Pine Sol, and a thousand acres of lemon trees for everyone in the entire family? I'm not mad at them. I'm mad at the media's obsession with them. Why are we still talking about them? We're not talking about Ray J. I don't get it.

2. Justin Bieber's...anything: Leave this child alone. I swear the media is just bored.  I really don't understand why the media is so obsessed with his demise. It's ridiculous. I do miss #MusicMondays from him though. Say what you want.

3. Real Housewives/Basketball Wives/Love and Hip Hop of Anywhere: Loooooook! It's one thing that people are fans of these shows. God knows I have had my guilty pleasures even though these shows aren't any of them. It's another thing when the media gets involved and tries to make it seem like this mess is for real.  Like, media outlets I actually respect talk about RHOA like it's real life. I don't see them talking about what happened on WWE the night before? What that's not the same thing? Oh okay.

4. Beyonce': Listen. Y'all have GOT to stop talking to me about Beyonce'. That goes for her husband, her baby, her daddy, her daddy's baby, etc.  She can't break a nail without it being all over my timeline.  Again, I have nothing but love for the sista but it's kind of like what Ghandi allegedly said about Christians. "I like your Christ but I don't like your Christians." I like a good bit of Beyonce's songs but her crazy ready to cut somebody fans?  Since a lot of them act like she died on the cross for their sins and rose on the third day to drop an album at midnight, I don't think that's an unfair comparison.

5. What any public figure believes about homosexuality: Y'all. Everyone is not down with everything. I really don't understand why the media needs to publicize people's personal views on the subject.  I also don't understand why people feel they need to have approval from a public figure on their view on homosexuality be it for or against. Someone isn't wit' it? Cool. It is what it is. Someone is all for it? Live your life. A celebrity wants to come out? I mean...I guess. A celebrity is gay but doesn't feel the need to come out or make a statement? Stop trying to out them! Let people be!

6. Sarah Palin's opinion on anything: Everything I have previously listed I am completely indifferent about. But Sarah Palin? Y'all have GOT to stop talking to me about what Sarah Palin has to say about ANYTHING. She infuriates me.  Why are they still asking her opinions about anything in life?! Sarah...Sarah...honey...listen. You don't get to quit your job and then tell other people how to do theirs. No ma'am. Stop asking her opinion on stuff. It doesn't matter anymore.

Other people's opinions who are also null and void: The opinions of Joan Rivers and anyone else who has any opinion on who is too fat to be successful and popular.

Well these are my gripes. What about yours?  What or who do you wish the media would stop trying to make you care about?

Woman Crush Wednesday: Solange - Tia

Did I buy a copy of Essence because Solange is on the cover? Yes, I sure did. Why? Because I love Solange. Don't get me wrong. Beyonce is a bad broad. But if I had to pick a Knowles sister to be friends with, it would be Solange.

I mean, what's not to love?

She's stylish.

She seems to be a great mom. She quit Instagram because people were trolling her son. Seriously, who trolls a kid?
And she makes amazing music.

Sol-Angel and the Hadley Street Dreams is one of the best albums to come out in the last decade. It's funky and eclectic. My inner music nerd STANS for this album.

Normally, I don't care that much about celebrities on a personal level. But honestly, if given the opportunity to be friends with Solange in real life, I would do it without hesitation or question. She is a BGLU personified. And I'm glad she's getting the recognition she deserves.

Happy #WCW!!

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Try- Toya

"Try" by P!nk just shuffled onto my playlist. Alecia will minister if you let her. 

So I guess I'll start writing again too.

In a post earlier this week, Tia talked about how it is essential to her well being if she writes consistently. The same may be true for me. It's easy to keep things inside now that I am away from everyone because I moved back home to get my life together. However in doing so, I feel like I am keeping a lot of things locked up like my creativity and well, the desire to express my opinions on things because I just happen to like the sound of my own voice apparently.  Unfortunately,  I have found by not expressing myself, I mull things over and over and over and over again in my brain be it in the shower, in my car.... on the train hoping that what I have said in my mind I did not say outside of my mind. You know what I mean. What others call crazy talk, those that often talk to ourselves just call it working it out.

My mom has set up a little office in the house that I am now making my own so I can work. She'll discover this when she  comes home to see that I have moved her clutter into a box and have already hung up some motivational quotes on her walls with Scotch tape. Here's the first one I posted today that I heard during a TED talk called "How to Make Stress Your Friend":

"Chasing meaning is better for your health than trying to avoid discomfort."- Kelly McGonigal

It is hard to start dreaming again and doing things you once enjoyed when you believe that you have screwed up your life beyond all recognition and restoration. This hit me when I took a long walk into Center City Philadelphia last week. I walked past the subway and just kept going for some reason.  I have said that I have no desire to live in Philly but then I came across some cute brownstone apartments. I was then reminded of how I have always wanted to live in the city in one of those. I was also reminded how there is no way outside of winning the lottery right now that I could afford one and then I almost burst into tears. It was then that I discovered that I had completely let go of the dreams that I used to have because I thought that all of my mistakes had made my life a complete failure. Unbeknownst to me, my "hiatus" from pursuing anything fulfilling at the moment was just me giving up.

At 39?  Really? You're just going to retire at 39 huh? 

As I walked around I realized that I had placed a death sentence upon myself. I struggled to remember what my dreams were and why because I had completely swept them under the rug and out of sight. I got my butt  kicked so badly last year that my goal for this year was to simply stay above water and not be a mess. That was all. Don't try to thrive. Just try to survive. Anything else is going to send you to the crazy house. The fear of moving forward had crippled me so badly that for two straight weeks I couldn't even update my resume.  That's why that quote by Kelly McGonigal hit me like a ton of bricks. I have now come to grips with the fact that if you want to do anything in life other than just exist, you can't walk around trying to avoid discomfort. I can't hide from the uncertainties of life. I can't walk around being afraid of anxiety attacks.  I can't keep myself from moving forward because I am scared to fail and scared to go back to a dark place. Because after you go through all of your reasons to not move forward like your failures, your third, fourth, and fifth chances, and all of your regrets, fears and disappointments, what do you do when you still manage to wake up the next day?

You give yourself a clean slate. Sometimes every single day.

You scream "No" when fear and doubt start to creep into the room.

You put your pride and shame away and ask for help; even when everything in you wants to make it seem like you have everything under control.

You forgive yourself for every single mistake no matter how careless or far reaching.

You learn to trust yourself all over again.

And then you try.

30 Days of Blog: Days 2 and 7 - Tia

Day 2 - 20 Facts About You
Believe it or not, even though I'm a blogger, I sometime find it hard to come up with a bunch of facts about myself. So I'm not being self-deprecating, but some of these may be a little boring.

1. I just got my 4th tattoo. And MY GOD did it hurt. Of all of the tattoos I've ever gotten, this one was hands down the most painful. There's a picture on our Instagram that you obviously follow us on, right…Right…RIGHT?!?!?!
2. I judge people who watch any of The Real Housewives shows but I will shamelessly watch 16 and Pregnant.
3. The only reason I don't live in London is because I'm afraid the constant gray weather would bum me out too much. (A friend of mine pointed out that if I did live in London and the weather was getting me down, I would just be a short train ride away from warm sunnier weather.)
4. I have pretty small feet for my height. I'm almost 5'10" and my feet measure a size 8.
5. I love gingers.
6. I'm lactose intolerant and ALL of my favorite foods have diary in them…except bacon.
7. I will always watch Love Actually if it's on even though I have it on DVD and digital.
8. I love really bad movies. The crappier the better. Sharknado is a masterpiece.
9. I used to be obsessed with the Titanic. Not the overly long movie but the actual ship. I watched documentaries. I have books about the sinking. I did unnecessary research on the sinking. I nerded it up for a boat that sank over 100 years ago.
10. I love bacon. No, seriously, LOVE IT. Would eat it everyday if I didn't care about my cholesterol.
11. I don't understand the fascination with Scarlett Johansson. No shade, I just don't get her.
12. I used to want 5 kids. Now I'm far too selfish for that many children.
13. I'm not a great dancer. I'm okay with that.
14. I will eat kettle corn until I'm on the verge of throwing up and then will stop eating just long enough for the feeling to pass and then keep eating it. It's a sickness. I just don't know when to stop.
15. I hate winter but I love Christmas.
16. I still have a tape deck.
17. I have a box full of children's books that I've purchased over the years to read to my kids.
18. I LOVE LOVE LOVE music.
19. I don't feel like a lot of people really get me.
20. Whenever I have to write a list like this I always struggle to come up with enough points and it makes me feel like my life isn't very interesting.

Day 7- Your 5 Favourite Songs
(I left the British spelling because I'm an anglophile like that.)
Listing my 5 favorite songs is an exercise in futility. I have one favorite song that never changes and that's "Children Say" by Level 42. That is my all time favorite song. But aside from that, the songs that I label favorite is an ever-rotating list.

That being sad, here are my other 4 favorite songs for the moment in no particular.

Monday, April 7, 2014

30 Days of Blog: Days 1 and 6 - Tia

As promised, I'm trying to change some things and stay creative by blogging daily. What that means for you is more information than you probably ever cared to know about me. Sorry, I'm not sorry.

Day 1 - Your Blog's Name
Black Girls Like Us came about after Toya and I realized that we were both the "weird" black girls growing up. We were the girls who spoke properly. We not only listened to but reveled in all music including "white people music." (We see you Duran Duran…we see you.) We had friends who were something other than black. We were labeled "different" "sell-out" "Oreos." We were never black enough for certain people. And while it was hard when we were younger, once we got older we realized a.) how awesome we truly were and b.) that there were other "weird" black girls out there like us. And maybe those other "different" black girls would like to read a blog about two girls who get them because they're like them. So out of that came: Black Girls Like Us.

By the way, Buzzfeed absolutely nailed this.

Day 6 - What Are You Afraid Of

So this is where I get real. I'm not afraid of dying. I'm not afraid of serial killers. I'm not afraid of most of the regular things that most folks are afraid of. But what I am afraid of is that I will end up alone.

I am on a fast moving train barreling toward 40. And I would love to just spend several decades in my 30s. But like Elton so wisely said, "This train don't stop there anymore." I can no more stop time than I can make myself get married. Or fly. Or own a liger.

I grew up in a culture of Christianity that made you feel like you weren't saved enough if you weren't married by the time you were 25. My mother and cousins, though well meaning, would tell me that, "God has someone for you. Just keep praying." So from the time I was 11 I prayed…and prayed…and prayed. (Yes, I wanted to get married when I was 11. I liked the idea of being a wife and a mommy. I blame my surroundings and 80s sitcoms.)

But as I got older and after catching THREE bouquets at back to back weddings, the freakishly insensitive people around me went from telling me, "You'll get married soon" to "When are you getting married?" to "Are you seeing anyone?" to "How's work?" Even my mother stopped haggling me about marriage and grandbabies. I think she may have given up.

The older I get the harder it gets for me. I feel like no one is ever going to like me the best. (That's the basic concept of marriage, by the way. Of all of the girls a boy can marry, he picks the one he likes the best and marries her.) I'm afraid that I will be alone forever and that I will become the weird cat lady.

I do try not to worry about it. But it's difficult. I see some of my friends pairing off, doing life together, having babies and I wonder if it's ever going to be me. I think about the fact that I went on 2 dates between 2007 and 2012. I worry that as a person whose primary love languages are quality time and physical touch, I will slowly go a little crazy because I won't have someone to love me the way I need to be loved.

So yeah, there are a MILLION things to fear on this Earth (with a disproportionate number of them being in Australia) but the thing that I am most truly afraid of is being alone. And if someone feels like that makes me a wuss, they can kick rocks, because at this point, honesty is all I have left.

Good day sir. I SAID GOOD DAY!!!

Another Challenge - Tia

This isn't the first time that I've attempted to do a 30 day challenge. But something Toya said to me yesterday struck a cord and subsequently lit a fire in me.

Yesterday we were doing a BFF phone catch up and we were discussing what's been happening in our respective lives. We've both been going through A LOT. And when my life gets full and exhausting, my first reaction is to shut everything out and binge watch Netflix. I don't want to be creative. I don't want to share my thoughts. I just want the inner dark and twisty-ness to go away.

I can't speak for Toya, but whenever my life takes a turn for the Meredith, the one thing I SHOULD be doing is writing. It's cathartic. And it keeps me from staying in the dark and twisty places.

Side note: I took the Grey's quiz twice at and got this both times:
The only saving grace here is that Meredith's life is SO much better than it used to be. So…you know…there's still hope.

Toya told me she had to ask herself, "Are you just going to give up on all of your dreams because nothing seems to be happening right now?" Dear readers, that was the spark I needed. I refuse to sit around and mope because things are so slow and unclear. YES, I've been in a dark and uncertain place for a while now. Yes, I'm genuinely afraid of a lot of things about the future. (I'm a planner, you see. And when my plans don't work, I often temporarily panic and crumble.) But I LOVE this blog. And I refuse to let it fall by the wayside any longer. This blog needs to be the one bright spot in my day. My plan is that even if my entire day is falling apart around me, I know that I can come here and vent or cry or share something mundane and I will feel better. BGLU will be my daily sanctuary.

But confession: some days I just don't know what to write about. So that's why I figured the best way to ease back into writing daily would be another challenge.

I grabbed this one from the interwebs because it was the least irritating and wasn't overly juvenile or personal. (Apparently, there are a lot of young oversharing bloggers.) And since it's already the 7th of April, I'll be doubling up on topics until I can catch up.

Also, I'd like to ask you guys to keep me accountable. I really need to do this. I need to stay creative. I need to make sure I have an outlet so that I don't remain in the dark places in my own noggin. So if a day goes by and you don't see a topic, hit the Twitters (@TiaBGLU) or the Book of Faces and guilt trip me until it gets done.

I have to go do my "pay my bills" job now, but I'll see you all shortly.

Man Crush Mondays: Jesse Williams - Tia

It would be EXCEPTIONALLY easy to objectify Jesse Williams. I mean, COME ON!!! LOOK AT HIM!!!!

I'll be the first to admit that there have been times that I've found it hard to concentrate on a particular scene of "Grey's" because Jesse has his shirt off. I feel that it's unfair of Shonda Rhimes to expect viewers to pay attention to the words coming out of his mouth when this is happening:

I'm a heterosexual woman with working eyes. Nothing else really matters when this is happening.

But Jesse being fine as frog's hair is NOT, I repeat, NOT the reason he's my MCM. (Well, it's neither the sole or primary reason.) I was recently catching up on my current number one girl crush Aisha Tyler's podcast "Girl on Guy" and Jesse was the guest. It was during those 90 minutes that I realized that this man is not just a pretty face. He's smart and funny. He's generous and a bit militant. He's basically an AWESOME dude who just happens to be in a pretty package. (If you're interested, you can listen to Jesse's "Girl on Guy" episode here. But be warned, it is NSFW. It's not pervy or anything. They just curse a lot.)

If for some reason you're insane and not already on board with the wonderfulness that is Jesse Williams, here a few fun facts that will help you out of your craziness and into the light.

1. He's been with the same woman for years.
Side Note: She STAYS giving me hair envy.
But don't get it twisted. She met him BEFORE he was famous. They got together back when he was teacher in New York. She's been ride or die for a minute. And from what I understand, she's a real estate broker. So she got her own, thank you very much.

2. He is über smart and engaging.
I seriously want to encourage you to listen to the "Girl on Guy" episode. Prior to listening to it, I just assumed that Jesse Williams was just another pretty boy actor. I had no idea that he'd graduated from Temple with a double major in…two things that readily escape me (and that I'm too lazy to Google as I've taken a sleeping pill and am trying to finish this before I fall into a sleep that is centimeters away from being a coma.) Listening to him speak made me want to learn more about his abs (sorry) him so I did an infinitesimal amount of internet searching (it honestly didn't take much, he's quite popular) and stumbled across his tumblr. It is chock full of insightful reads and diagrams (and some giggle worthy gifs.) Trust me, it's worth your time and there are quite a few things that will make you think. (Side note: Smart brothas make me happy.)

3. He believes in justice.

It would be very easy for Jesse Williams to sit back and say nothing. Being vocal about polarizing issues can be very unpopular. And being an actor, I'm fairly certain that booking a job may very well come down to who's the most popular and least offensive. Who hasn't stepped on anyone's toes? Who's ruffled the fewest feathers? So to speak up adamantly and vehemently about the murder of a young black boy at the hands of a white man, may not win too many friends or influence too many people. But it is without question the right thing to do. I admire Jesse for his words here. And he's correct. We should ALL be outraged.

Now, if after all of this you can't understand why Jesse is my MCM, then you're dead inside and I can't help you.

Happy Monday Y'all!!

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Throwback Thursday: Boys vs Girls - Tia

I don't like it when people play with my emotions. Don't tease me. Let your yes be yes and your no be no. That being said, all of these rumors and rumblings of rumors about a Backstreet Boys/Spice Girls tour are starting to make me angry. Don't toy with me! (I'm looking at you Brian Littrell.) I NEED to know if this is happening or not so that I can plan accordingly.

I was and still am a huge Spice Girls fan. When Toya found this out she was COMPLETELY shocked. She told me she would have never pegged me as a Spice Girls fan. But a fan I am. I have all of their music and I have their movie on VHS and DVD. I can't bring myself to give up the VHS tape even though I haven't had a VCR in years.

I never got to see them in concert. I was too broke their first go round. And when they went on tour again 6 or 7 years ago, they didn't do a show anywhere near me. So that's why I'm hoping that all of this "Yes, we are/No we're not" build up is similar to what the New Kids did a few years back. There were rumors of a tour when they appeared on the Grammys (I think it was the Grammys) but they denied it. Then they appeared somewhere else. Still no confirmation of a tour. But we knew something was happening because the Kids were popping up everywhere. And then BAM! they were touring. So my hope is that all of this cryptic talk is leading up to my inner teenager finally getting to scream/sing "Spice Up Your Life." A girl can dream, can't she?

In honor of wishes possibly coming true (yes, I was singing Sweet Sensation as I typed that) here are my top 5 favourite (yes, UK spelling) Spice Girls songs. (I already ranked my top 5 BSB songs here.)


I've always had a tumultuous relationship with my mother. It's gotten a bit better the older I've gotten but it has never been storybook. But regardless of how rocky things were between us, this song always made me take a moment to appreciate her. You only get one mother.

2 Become 1

I was something of a sheltered teenager. I grew up in church and even went to Christian university. So this song bordered on salacious in my book.
Be a little bit wiser baby/Put it on, put it on
Cause tonight is the night/when two become one
I felt some kind of way singing this. But it was still my jam.

Thursday, March 20, 2014

Fun Music Friday: Aloe Blacc - The Man

I've been a fan of Aloe Blacc for a while and didn't know it.

Not too long ago there was a show called How to Make it America and I always loved the show's intro song. Unfortunately, my subscription to HBO ended and I never got around to Shazaming the song. (In fact, I'm not 100% sure I had a phone capable of running Shazam when the show was on.) Every now and then after the show's run I would hear the song here or there and would always sing along. It was catchy and I would make a mental note to find out who sang it, a mental note that I promptly forget.

Last weekend I found myself doing something I often do on rainy Saturday afternoons: watching VH1Soul.  Aloe Blacc's "The Man" was in heavy rotation. The video is both visually compelling and uplifting. It some how manages to be set in the past but be relevant to the now. I thought the concept was genius. So, of course, I had to go find out more about this young man singing his heart out in the middle of a riot. And that is when I discovered that I already knew who he was. (I had that, "Ooooohhhh you're the "I Need a Dollar" guy" epiphany.)

After a little digging, I fell in love with Aloe Blacc's music. His new album Lift Your Spirit is one of current favorites. Soul, pop and lyrics done right. I don't say this lightly but this album is amazing. It's exactly what the music industry needs. But don't just take my word for it...

Lift Your Spirit is Aloe Blacc's third solo album. I genuinely hope that the momentum from "The Man" continues to build and we hear a lot more from Aloe. (The song has already been featured in three Beats commercials, my favorite being the one with Richard Sherman. Haters gonna hate, Richard.) And if I can have all of the wishes, some time this summer Aloe Blacc and Anthony David will go on tour together. Yes, I still believe in wishes.

Happy listening, everyone.

Friday, February 21, 2014

Wanderlust - Tia

Screen captures from the places my phone seems to think I need to visit. 


a strong, innate desire to rove or travel about.

The lock screen on my phone is a TripAdvisor app that recommends travel destinations. It changes every 6 hours or so and some of the locations are just stunning. The only down side is that the changing scenery has stoked my wanderlust to a roaring flame. I am just dying to get away.

Although I travel a good deal for work, I rarely get to go to places that are exciting. For a while I was going to NYC pretty regularly. But that was about the best of it. Some of my destinations left much to be desired. I mean, there are parts of Indiana that I will happily never visit again.

Usually when I want to travel, I want to go someplace warm with good food. The thing that usually holds me back is not having anyone to travel with. Even being a professed and confirmed introvert, solo traveling is not really my thing. There's no one to talk to about the random thing you just saw/ate/did. You're not in any of the pictures because you don't have anyone to take them for you or be in them with you. And if you're not terribly outgoing by nature, it's unlikely that you're going to strike up a conversation with a complete stranger, especially if you don't speak the language.

But here's the dilemma for me, I'm running up on 40 at an alarming rate. And I've been seriously considering joining team FullUtero regardless of marital status by the time I hit the big 4-0. (That decision is still pending as it is life altering and permanent.) But until I reach the big scary age, I don't want to just sit around waiting for life to happen. I don't want to look back in a few years with a baby on my hip and say, "I wish I'd used my vacation days to do something non-baby related."

So I've decided 2014 is the year of travel. I carried over a MONTH of vacation from work last year. That is the worst life/work balance ever. That many days essentially means that I did not take enough vacation last year. I'm not making that same mistake in 2014. My hope is that I won't have to go alone. But if I do, well dammit, at least I can say I went.

I want the BGLU family to keep me accountable. Thus the whole reason for this post. I even made a 2014 Travel Bucket List so you guys can periodically tweet, Instagram or Facebook and ask about the status of the trips. My hope is that the year will be filled with the following:

- A long weekend in Vegas
- A long weekend in Puerto Rico (I will also accept a long weekend in another tropical destination)
- ComicCon in San Diego (which just happens to fall close to my birthday)
- London at least once (preferably in the fall but I would also go at the year's end so that I can ring in the New Year with the Brits. Plus I'm dying to eat at Wagamama and Nando's.)
- Phoenix to see a friend I haven't seen in 6 years
- NYC with my dad. (Somehow my dad has traveled the world and never been to NYC. So I'd like to take him and let him be a tourist.)
- Costa Rica for Thanksgiving at an all-inclusive. (Apparently, that's the off season for them even though that's when the weather is the best. Go figure.)

The crazy thing is, if I budget my money and my time accordingly, I can do all of these trips this year. The beauty of being unmarried and childless is that you're also unencumbered with a bit of disposable income. So instead of being sad that I'm not married and my uterus is full of cobwebs (I make jokes to make myself feel better), I'm going to choose to enjoy my freedom. Drink wine on a Thursday and watch "Scandal." Why not? Sleep 12 hours on a Friday night. Sure. Randomly hop in the car and go to a skate event in another city. Of course. Why….BECAUSE I CAN!!!!


Saturday, February 15, 2014

SHE'S FREE!!!! - Tia

I got the following text from HOMIE of HOMIES Brandon yesterday, "RUN to the nearest phone or laptop or fax machine or spaceship or whatever you need and go listen to the EP JoJo just dropped. I never want to sing again. Outsinging almost anybody that I can think of. Honestly."

As I am a HUGE JoJo stan fan I got myself to the nearest listening device. And let me just tell you, I GOT MY DAMN LIFE!!! Joanna Levesque is SANGING Y'ALL!!!! She is singing about her freedom and you can't tell me any differently.

For those not in the know, JoJo was finally released from the restrictive contract she had with Blackground Music. The contract, which was struck when she was 13, essentially left her in musical limbo for the better part of seven years. But, won't He do it, Atlantic Records promptly and wisely snatched JoJo up the minute she gained her freedom and new music is forthcoming.

And to whet our appetites or to say thank you to the fans or just give a middle finger to Blackground, this broad blessed us with #LOVEJO. While all of the tracks are, expectably, great, the stand out for me is "Take Me Home." Phil Collins is one of my musical icons. As such, I'm usually hesitant, underwhelmed and unimpressed when people sample/cover his music. But JoJo being JoJo, she slays the track. And in light of her recent emancipation, the lyrics take on a "freedom anthem" feel that I never noticed before.

"Seems so long I've been waiting/Still don't know what for"

"They don't think that I listen but I know who they are"

But this line…this was the line that made me straight up shout in my kitchen when I heard it:
"Cause I've been a prisoner all my life and I can say to you"

Signed as a child. Prevented from sharing the thing she loved the most with her fans. Unable to free herself from binding restrictions. Y'all, that lyric will preach to you if you let it. In my mind, the minute she signed with Atlantic, JoJo took a portable studio/stage to the front of Blackground Records and sang that one lyric with all her might and then walked away. (And until she personally tells me differently, that's how it happened.)

All kidding aside, JoJo is a powerful vocalist. She's one of the few defining voices of this generation. There are so few powerhouse singers out these days. Where are the Whitneys, the Mariahs, the Arethas? I feel like we have a lot of cute singers but we don't have a lot of VOCALISTS. I'm talking people with range who can blow without the assistance of AutoTune and the like. And THAT'S why I'm glad that JoJo is back on the scene. I'm ready and waiting for a studio album that comes and snatches my very edges from the roots.

I've said it before and I'll say it again…YAASSS JOJO YAAAAAASSSSSSS.

Oh…I got so caught up I almost forgot….you can download the EP here.

Sunday, February 9, 2014

Hold On, We're Going Home- Toya

"I'm going to a place where there'll be no more crying... I'm going to a place where I can sit down." Walter Hawkins  "Going to a Place"

After 13 years of being a Nashville resident, Thursday night I pulled up a block away from my parents' home in New Jersey, the house I grew up in for about 20 years, and stopped my car on the side of the road.  "I really just did this." I thought to myself. "This is really real." There could be no turning back around and going ten minutes down the road to my friend Tonya's house to further discuss my decision; no getting on the highway about 20 minutes down the road to my favorite Nashville coffee shop to rethink everything. This was it.  At 39, I was moving back home to get my life together. It's just weird to say that home is no longer Nashville.

I didn't realize how much of my identity was wrapped up in being a Nashvillian.  I didn't even realize that being a hardcore Nashvillian was how other people saw me either until I announced that I was moving. You wanted to know what to do on a weekend? Heck, on a Tuesday? I was the one to ask.   I remember calling a Nashville based organization to change my billing info and when I said my name, the person on the other end said "Toya?  Nashville scene Toya?"  I am known to love that city. And I do. I champion everything that is good for it, have written articles on what to do for fun and have been an ambassador of the music scene there for years while running a modestly successful concert production company.  I never thought that I could give my heart completely to a city; not a person, but a city. And here I am, changing my current city on Facebook to one in South Jersey, trying to hold my face together from the ugliest cry ever.

Let me backtrack and tell you all how I got here though.

I read somewhere once that problems are often the universe asking you questions. Last year my question seemed to be if according to my peers I am so talented and gifted in a number of areas, why am I not getting what I need? I mean basic needs. Like why can't I pay my rent on time? Why can't I find a job that is a good fit and pays all of my bills?  Why am I constantly struggling to keep my head above water, and so on and so forth. The thought of living my life with so much potential and not even coming close to fulfilling it sent me into the worst depression of my life. I got dangerously hopeless and my temper was getting shorter by the day. I was having anxiety attacks where I would have to rock back and forth in order to calm down and get on with my day.  I was buying wine instead of toilet paper and once pulled over in the middle of traffic to yell at a pedestrian riding a Segway.  My mood swings were becoming alarming.

Side note: A few of my friends asked me if I may be going through pre-menopause.  I can't even wrap my mind around that right now.  Pre-menopause? Where did my 30's go???

What freaked me out the most and had me crying myself to sleep at night and sometimes even during the day was that I really thought that if I didn't pull it together that I was going to disappoint so many people. I love people. I have the absolute best friends and community anyone could ever want in Nashville.  However I no longer wanted to help anyone and it was becoming hard to hide what was really going on.  I put up a good front and was always smiling but deep inside I was a person that wanted to run and hide.  I was just so embarrassed that life just didn't seem to be working for me. What exactly was the problem?

The problem was I was getting squeezed out of a place that is no longer suited for what I need in life. That was a hard reality to come to grips with (Tyler Perry wrote a BRILLIANT and moving piece on this subject called "Don't Stay Too Long" here).  I had been told numerous times from various people that sooner or later I was going to have to suck it up and fly.  That while I had done some really cool things in Nashville, that city was just a training ground for me to discover and develop my potential.  It was time to go and the longer I stayed, the harder it was for me to remain comfortable.

So then I had this bright idea to move to LA this summer.

After making a list of all of the things I wanted to embark upon career wise, LA just made the most sense. Now I don't particularly like LA (that traffic is for the birds, literally), but I was willing to do anything to make my life right.  I hated the idea of moving to Nashville 13 years ago too and it turned out to be the best move of my life. So moving some place I didn't like wasn't a big deal to me.  The only thing that was wrong with my moving to LA was that after months of stress I didn't exactly see myself as being emotionally healthy enough to handle moving that far away to something brand new.  I needed to get stable in so many areas: emotionally, financially, and spiritually.  I desperately wanted to spend some time with my family.  You see, I wasn't distraught because I didn't think I couldn't make anything out of my life. I was distraught because I know that I can. I came to the conclusion that if life was just going to come at me sideways anytime it wants to then I need to be in a position to handle things as they come good or bad.  I asked myself what if I got offered my dream job somewhere in LA. Would I take it? The answer was no.  I needed to be in a healthy environment for a while. 2013 had kicked my butt something serious and I barely made it out alive. I needed to get well.  When I came to that conclusion, all arrows pointed to home.

After full disclosure with my parents about dealing with depression and what I was doing to manage my emotions and get back on track in life,  I called them both and told them that I was coming home to get healthy. My parents are some beautiful people. Not only did they express their excitement for me coming home but they showered me with affirmations. They told me that they were proud of me. They told me that what I was doing was wise, brave and in no means a step backwards. They told me that they believed in my talents and would support me the best way they can knowing that there are great things in store for me. I needed that more than I realized. This is the environment I need to be in to move forward.

A friend of mine asked me what was Nashville going to do without me. I told them that Nashville has been without me for about a year. I checked out a while ago. The rest of me just needed to catch up and move forward. So here I am. 39 and not sorry to be back home.  I have discovered that if you can't handle things from a peaceful state of mind, you need to get there by any means necessary and this is indeed necessary.  When I finally got out of my car and walked into my room at my parents house, I saw that my dad had put a beautiful bouquet of flowers on my nightstand. It kind of reminded me of a hospital room.  It reminded me of something I said to one of my friends who said that they didn't want me to go.  Half joking I said "Well, you can either visit me in New Jersey or I can stay and you can visit me in a facility that has actual visiting hours. You take your pick."  I'm at peace with my decision to push the reset button on my life.  I am a bit of a recluse right now but I am definitely at peace. It's a working peace though.  I am not here to kick it.  I'm back in the gym and managing not to scarf down all of my my mom's home cooking.  Also, career wise there are some potentially great opportunities for me here.  I'm here to become the best person that I can be and to be honest I'd rather it be here at home with my loving family than anywhere else, even in Nashville.

"People have the right to fly. And will when it gets compromised. The heart says 'move along'. The mind says 'Got you heart. Let's move it along.'" John Mayer, "Wheel"

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Woman Crush Wednesday: Lupita Nyong'o - Tia

There are two types of movies that I usually shy away from: movies with sexual assault scenes and movies with slavery themes that contain brutal beating sequences. I still get an awful feeling if I see Sally Field somewhere because of the scene from Eye for an Eye. And any movie containing abuse and oppression of black people, well, I don't even have to tell you how that makes me feel sickened and disgusted. The atrocities of slavery actually happened…to people related to me. As such, it's hard, bordering on impossible, for me to watch certain slavery based movies. And from what I've read, 12 Years a Slave contains everything that I try to avoid in movies. 

When the movie first debuted I did some research on my own on Solomon Northup. I even downloaded the book 12 Years a Slave. (Side note: When did I embrace e-books like this? *sigh* I miss actual books.) Although the story is remarkable, I still couldn't bring myself to see the film. And that's why I had no idea who Lupita was until award season started. But thank you Internets for giving this woman the shine she deserves.

By all accounts, Lupita gives a stunning performance in the movie. But not only is she an amazing actress, she's freaking GORGEOUS!!!

I mean, MY GOD!!! Look at this woman. Her style is sickening. And her face is EVERYTHING!! Of course, I would never want to reduce someone to just a pretty face. So I'll mention that Lupita graduated from Yale. An impressive feat by anyone's standards. But…I mean…can we go back to how gorgeous she is?!?!?

I must confess, every time I see this woman I'm enthralled by her. I find myself wanting to know more about her. Not in a creepy stalker way, but in a "this woman is amazing, tell me more about her awesomeness" kind of way. I mean seriously, doesn't this picture with Angela Bassett just make you want to sit down with both of them and pick their brains (and ask about their upper arm workouts because you know Angela got them guns too.)

I sincerely hope that this is just the beginning for Lupita. She seems to be on a trajectory that will put her smack dab in the middle of superstardom. And I for one am SO FOR IT! We need more talent and faces like hers in Hollywood. BGLU is on Lupita's cheering squad. Yes ma'am…do your thang!!

Monday, January 27, 2014

The Hot Mess Championships- Toya's Rundown of The 2014 Grammy Awards

I am STILL drained from last night's show. How can something put you to sleep and make you need more sleep at the exact same time?   However, there were a few really good performances and other things of note. So without further adieu, here is my annual wrap up the Grammys. Sorry there aren't more pictures but I am in a rush this morning. 
  1. Because of how I feel about the state of the music industry right now, I have very little expectations for tonight’s show besides Justin Timberlake’s “Pusher Love Girl” getting a Grammy. It got one. I'm happy. Let's go. 
  2. Beyonce’ and Jay Z’s opening performance: I’m about to show my age right now.  There used to be a time when artists performed on the Grammys that they wanted to do their classiest performances; they displayed more of their artistic side if you will.  I could understand this performance being on the AMAs, VMAs, or BET Awards but to open up the GRAMMYS with a chair strip tease performed to a song that has to be censored just doesn’t seem apropos to me.  We couldn’t have gotten a crowd rousing performance of “XO”?  I'm not into this at all.
  3. I love Pastor LL Cool J and his speeches! I always want him to end it with “I’m LL Cool J and that’s one to grow on.”
  4. Macklemore and Ryan Lewis won again and some people are mad. I have never heard their record and again I have zero expectations when it comes to who the industry votes for. I’m pretty indifferent about this.
  5. Lorde is about to do “Royals” and give y’all a word for the nations if you would just receive it.  Can she please deliver this word at the VMAs and the Source Awards?  Yes she is awkward but I dig this three-piece set she’s got going on. No not the career separates she is wearing. The band.
  6. Hunter Hayes…meant…well?  Maybe…could not…hear?  Maybe….doesn’t sing live…well?  Good message though.
  7. “Stay” by Rihanna and Nashville’sown Mikky Ekko is up for an award and listen: If Mikky Ekko wins, I will jump up and do a praise run down the street in the bitter cold.
  8. Awww they didn’t win.  Oh well. I’m just glad they got nominated.
  9. Katy Perry’s performance: I like plenty of Katy Perry’s songs but have been pretty underwhelmed with her last three award show performances.  Are those pole dancing witches? Katy! It’s not even close to Halloween! This is silly.  I’m going to go load the dishwasher and this isn’t even my house. I’m also going to see if I can dust, put some blinds up, something.  I not into this performance at all.
  10. Robin Thicke has been getting "The Miss Celie from The Color Purple -2 fingers crooked 'Until your music starts doing right by me again, everything you think about’s gon’ fail!'-curse" from me since early last year .  So I really don’t know what to expect with this Robin Thicke and Chicago matchup because lately he has….waaaaaaaait a minute. Did they just go into “Does Anybody Know What Time ItIs”???? *Carlton Banks dance* This is my JAM!!!!! “I was walking down the street one day…” Get into this!
  11. Okay I really like this. I forgot Robin Thicke can really sing and Chicago’s horn section is giving me life. Can we go on and take this to Vegas already?
  12. Aaaaaaaaand now of course we go into “Blurred Lines”, the one one song that will most likely keep me from ever seeing Robin Thicke live.  I just can't anymore.
  13. Keith Urban and Gary Clark Jr. shred!!!!!! This is a really good performance and my favorite one so far. Who would’ve thought that?
  14. These jokes about Pharrell’s hat? Y’all. I can’t. From “Only Pharrell can prevent forest fires” to “Pharrell is wearing a hat that stores all his money”,  I am cracking up!
  15. Aaaw Dave Grohl! I remember when Kurt Cobain died & I said "What's going to happen to the drummer?! He's my favorite!!!" I love me some Dave Grohl.
  16.  Y’all clown Taylor Swift playing her heart out on this piano but two things:  1) some of y’all are going to be drinking brown liquor to some of these heartbreak songs one day and 2) regarding the hair flipping, y’all know growing your bangs out is a real struggle! Y'all know this! I’m not going to go into another one of my defending Taylor Swift rants so let’s just move on.
  17. Oooh P!nk’s next and she and the lead singer of fun. are about to perform together. Are they going to do a flying trapeze act?
  18.  P!nk is once again hanging from the ceiling giving us Cirque De Soleil realness. If this woman is singing live through all of this (and it sounds like it) and y'all still wanna talk to me about how hard it is to sing live while bundled up in the cold? Just…you know what? Not today. 
  19. Daggonit P!nk! I really don’t like“Give Me the Reason” and I feel like I just got duped with her performance of “Try” to sit through this.
  20. Regarding the lead singer of fun. sounding like Pitchy McPitcherson tonight – Sir, did you really just hit a note sideways like that and then throw the mic to yourself? You know what? Encourage yourself in this moment. We should all have such confidence.
  21. Lorde won for “Royals”!!! Am I the only one that wants her to get on stage and Fiona Apple us right now? Okay maybe that’s not a good idea. She’s only 17. She has a lifetime to offend people.
  22. I understand that Ringo Starr is musical royalty and all but can we just have a come to Jesus moment about his solo performance right now? Y’all. They need to be doing this at someone's backyard picnic, bonfire, Gaither Homecoming, something. I cannot! Ringo was the DRUMMER of The Beatles and unlike Dave Grohl, Jeffrey Osborne, and Phil Collins, this just isn’t quite his…I mean….I’m gonna go get more pizza.
  23. Look at Jay Z being all tender during his acceptance speech! As Tia pointed out, I don’t think he meant that he was going to thank God a little bit. I think he meant more than for the award he was thankful for his wife and that’s sweet.
  24. I feel like this Imagine Dragons and Kendrick Lamar collaboration is going to slay.
  25. Oh I AM HERE FOR THIS!!!!!!! *Headbanging*  *Throwing bows* Joe Carroll, I think this is where we turn up.  Okay seriously, let’s take this thing on the road. If Linkin Park and Jay Z can do it then why on earth not? Best performance of the night. Hands down. Don’t even worry about.
  26. So Paul McCartney and Ringo are performing now. Sooo why did they let Ringo…you know, never mind. fact: Sir Paul is playing the same piano from the Magical Mystery Tour.
  27. Bruno Mars won Best Pop Vocal Album!!!! 
  28. There’s so much of this show left! 

  29. FINALLY the Stevie Wonder, Nile Rodgers, Pharrell, and Daft Punk performance! I love that everyone in this room respects Stevie Wonder so much that no one will even acknowledge the bewilderment on my face about what’s happening to the second verse of this song. Aaaw there it is. Stevie’s going into it again. This is so fun!
  30. Wait…I feel like I am hearing the beginning of “Another Star”. Is that “Another Star”? Are they about to… 

    fosdkfnknjonfjnkjdf vngjkenrgjan rgvjka; jdkf fkdmfokasmaksfmvajnrjgnfjkra nvkja vkanvka kjnre vjankv  

    *Comes up for air* Just end it! Just end the Grammys now!!!! That’s a wrap!!!  Seriously why is there more of this show after this?!
  31. I want to move to New York City,live next door to Cyndi Lauper and have her be my auntie. That is all.
  32. I am seriously so happy for Sarah Bareilles and Pharrell right now getting to play along legends that I don’t doubt they dreamed about as kids. I love seeing this happen for them. I really like this about the Grammys.
  33. *Waves shyly* Heeeey....heeey Jared Leto. Heeeeey....
  34. Okay I got distracted by Jared Leto and also I think I dozed off. Why is Metallica on the GRAMMYsdoing "One"? I'm not against it but are we commemorating something?  If I remember correctly, this song is long and I don't know if I can take this show much longer. 
  35. Oh this a new artists/legendary artist collaboration! Sorry y'all. I'm fighting sleep at this point.
  36. And then it happened: Steven Tyler and Smokey Robinson get up to present an award and completely going off script, Steven Tyler goes into “You Really Got a Hold On Me” in tribute to Smokey.  Recognize a G, Steven Tyler! Yaaaassssss!!!!! This was so awkwardly sweet! This has got to be my favorite moment of the night. That’s not hard to be right now but it was great.
  37. *Target Commercial featuring Janelle Monae comes on* We want Grammy reparations for Janelle Monae and we want them NOW!!!!! Now I say!!!!
  38. So I just heard that during Macklemore and Ryan Lewis’ performance, Queen Latifah is doing a mass wedding ceremony of gay and straight couples and Madonna is going to join her. Seriously how long is this show going to be?!?!?!?!?
  39. About Macklemore and Ryan Lewis’performance : One thing that I am going to work on as I approach 40 is not being afraid to give unpopular opinions so here are my two cents: 1 cent- Some people really have aproblem with them doing this but some of those same people think that anything and everything Beyonce’ and Jay Z do is flawless and sheer perfection. Sometimes I don’t know if these people are reading from the King James Bible or the King Bey Bible. It’s confusing. 2 cents- I also find it confusing how some of the same people on my timeline that want to go off about how no one is to judge, we should all love everyone, and how God loves everyone the same are some of the same people that will drag Chris Brown, Justin Bieber, Taylor Swift and Kanye West through the mud on a continuous basis. They can’t even bend over to tie their shoelaces without some of y’all having something terribly judgmental and downright mean to say. My thing is this: judgments are one thing, opinions are another. Not everyone is going to agree with everything.  We’re not supposed to! Because if we were then let’s just all delete everything from our timeline, go back and watch the Grammys again and try our best not to say anything about Ringo Starr’s performance or what exactly is going on with Stevie Wonder’s hair.
  40. The Memorial section always does me in. It just seems like it is getting longer and longer every year. George Duke! Ugh!
  41. I’m too worn out for this finale of Trent Reznor, Lindsay Buckingham, and Queens of the Stone Age.  On a regular day I’d be down but this show has worn me all the way down in three plus hours.
  42. I’ll say this: one thing I have noticed about the Grammys is that they are really good about every other year.  Last year was fantastic. Maybe next year will be better. 
Well that's my wrap up.  The floor is open for respectful commentary. What were your thoughts about last night's show?